We are so lucky to have had you in our lives.

We love you Hannah!!

  Messages to Hannah From Mommy 

                                      January 9, 2010                                                                        The Moment You Were Born                              May we always remember the moment......that wonderful, magical moment you were born.  The tears of joy, the sheer relief, the awesome miracle.  May we always remember the moment....that one perfect memory that will live forever in our hearts.... the wonderful, magical moment you were born.

The day that you were born three years ago Hannah, all of my dreams had come true.  You were the perfect little girl that I had always dreamt of and ever wanted.  A little girl to dress up pretty, play Barbies with, paint each others nails, put ponies in your hair, share secrets with and all of those other little "girlie" moments that a mother and daughter share.  I was looking forward to spending those moments with you Hannah....so much.   Most importantly, I dreamt of having that special bond with you that only a mother and daughter can have. Since you left, I can't say that I believe in dreaming anymore.  I know how dreams can be taken away, leaving you heartbroken and hurt.  Hannah, I hope for you that dreams are much better in Heaven.  I hope that every dream that you wish for comes true, and brings you happiness beyond words.  You deserve every magical moment that you ever wish for.  If I were to wish one more wish, one more dream, it would be to be with you.  This I can only hope for. Happy third birthday sweet Hannah.  I love you baby girl - now and forever.

~~A dream is a wish from the heart~~

                                     April 4, 2009                                                  I can't believe that you have been gone 2 years sweet Hannah. Some days it feels like an eternity since I last saw you, held you, kissed those sweet cheeks and looked into those sparkling eyes of yours. Other days, it seems like the terrible day that you were taken from us was just yesterday. It is memories of that day I wish I could erase from my memory. I wish for precious, wonderful memories of you - not haunting, awful ones. My life now is overflowing of many wishes of you Hannah. I wish this would have never happened to you, I wish I would have done things differently, I wish for this pain to be gone....
I wish the most to have you here, alive and well. I find the following wish list very true to heart.....I love you Hannah.                

BEREAVED PARENTS WISH LIST
I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had her back.

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and is very important to me. I need to hear that she was important to you also.

If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.

I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day.

I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die.

I am working hard on my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I will always grieve that she is gone.

I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.

I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.

Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.

I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with her. I am not the same person I was before my child died and I will never be that person again.

I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and my grief. But...

I pray daily that you will never understand.
~by Compassionate Friends 
 

                                          January 9, 2009                                     Happy 2nd Birthday sweet Hannah.  When I close my eyes, I try to imagine what this day would have been like with you here.  I see a cute little girl in pigtails sitting in front of her pink birthday cake.  Family and friends surround you smiling, laughing, and singing you Happy Birthday.  I picture you with so much life, so full of energy.  But then, I open my eyes and reality hits me hard.  Instead of a day filled with happiness, your Daddy and I stand alone at your special place for your Birthday.  There is no laughter, no party, no little girl full of life.   Instead of singing, there are tears.  It is not at all what we had envisioned for the future with you.  I do hope Hannah that you are surrounded by lots of love, laughter, smiles and angel friends today in Heaven.  Please know that mommy would do anything to give you birthday kisses & hugs today.  Much love today & always ~love mommy.                                    

                                     December 12, 2008                              Hannah~ Since you have left I have been holding on to the hope that I will see you again someday.  I also hold onto the signs that I feel you send to me at times I need it most.  Mommy is missing you so much this Christmas and have been longing so bad to have you back.  But you have reminded me Hannah that you are here - not physically, but in other ways.  From the time that you left, your big brother Jacob believes that you sleep on the moon.  This morning he came to me, so excited to tell me of the dream that he had of you that night.  Jacob dreamt that he got into his "rocket" and flew to the moon to get you.  I had to hold back the tears as I looked into the big bright eyes of your brother, listening to the excitement in his voice as talked about the hope of saving his little sister.  He told me that his rocket made it to the moon, but there were so many babies there that he couldn't find you.  After explaining his dream to me, he asked the heart-wrenching question of, if he had another dream of you Hannah, could he really bring you back to us, to your home?  I had to swallow hard to get the words out to him that no, you would just be forever in his dreams now until he saw you again in heaven someday.  What makes me believe that you were reaching out to us even more, is that I woke up last night in the middle of the night to a big, bright moon shining on my face through the window.  It has never waked me up before like that.  The light from it was brilliant.  To me, these are not coincidences, it's believing.  I feel these two together are signs from you Hannah.  I feel like you were trying to remind me in your own little spectacular ways that you are here - something that I so desperately needed to be reminded of.  I thank you for reaching out to us last night Hannah and blessing us with your precious presence.  Mommy loves you sweet baby girl - to the moon and back.   Please keep sending me the much needed reminders. Love~ Mommy 

                                            July 23, 2008                                           A milestone was reached today sweet Hannah. Your little baby brother Dylan turned 86 days old - the same number of days that you were with us sweetie.  Those 86 days with you I hold close to my heart and hang onto tightly.  As Dylan reaches new milestones - his first word, first step, first "I love you"......I will always think of you Hannah.  I wish I would have been blessed with more days with you to experience your "firsts".  It tugs at my heart to know of all of the things that I will miss seeing you do.  Your daddy and I had so many hopes and dreams for you - hopes and dreams that were shattered the day that you left.  I now have a new hope and dream of you Hannah - to see you and your beautiful smile again sometime soon.  Please watch over your baby brother as he attempts all of his new firsts.  I know that he will make you proud.  Loving you always Hannah and missing you dearly, love mommy.     

                   Hannah's Baby Brother Dylan Shay

                                         April 4, 2008                                                     A year ago today, my life changed forever. The day that you had to leave us sweet Hannah to go to heaven was one of the most difficult times in our lives - and continues to be.  Living life with a broken heart has been a challenge this past year.  Harder than I could have ever imagined.  I have had many tell me that time heals all wounds.  So far, I am not believing in that.  My wound, my broken heart, is still here - wide open.  When you left baby girl, a part of me left too.  I find that I am not the same person that I used to be and I long for that.  Happy days and smiles use to come easy - now I have to search for them.  Life should not have to be such a challenge everyday.  As each day goes by without you, I can't help but to think of the many "why's" and "what-if's".  They haunt me to this day.  I know that God chose you to become a special angel a year ago, but in my heart and in my mind, I feel that it was far too soon for you to go.  If I would have only known.  I question myself all the time about that terrible day.  Was there something that I missed that final morning with you?  Could I have done something differently to save your precious little life?  I feel like I have failed you as a mommy Hannah and I am so sorry for that.  I should have somehow saved you so that you could be here with your daddy and big brother Jacob who both miss you so much.  This hangs heavily on mommy's shoulders.  Please Hannah, send some extra love and strength to mommy and daddy today to help us get through this.  We love you dearly and cherish every precious moment that we had with you.  We will never forget you baby girl - I promise you that.  Loving you forever and looking forward to seeing you again in heaven, love ~mommy.

Thank you Angie for this picture and remembering Hannah.

                                           March 23, 2008                                         Happy Easter Sweetheart.  I hope that you are having fun with your colorful Easter eggs in Heaven.  I can't help but not to feel the same about Easter this year.  Easter to me is only a reminder of the painful Easter weekend last year when we laid our little girl to rest at the cemetery.  Easter weekend was the last time I got to see you, touch you, hold you, and was the last chance I got to absorb every physical detail about you.  The Easter holiday is suppose to be the start of spring.  The start of new beginnings and new colors.  To me, many days are just the opposite - many days I only see gray.  The colors of life don't seem to be here.  They are so difficult to find since you left.  Life is so different.  Please sweetheart, with the start of the new season, send mommy some  warm sunshine and pretty colors. Love, hugs & kisses always, Mommy.                           

        Thank you Angie Means (Jace's mommy) for this picture of Hannah.  

Wishing you a happy Easter in Heaven sweet Hannah!

January 24, 2008
Hi sweetheart.  I hope you know how many people miss and love you dearly.  One, being your big brother.  Jacob misses you so much and talks about you everyday Hannah.  Just today, he told me how he wanted to share his chocolate chip cookies with you.  He wanted to save a special one just for you so that he could give it to you in heaven.  He also mentioned how he would break it up in pieces since you were still a baby and couldn't eat it whole.  I find it amazing how he relates the moon, pink sunsets and butterflies all to you Hannah.  I hope that never changes.  Jacob is a very special little boy.  He has helped pull your Daddy and I through some very dark days.  I am so very thankful for him.  I feel somehow that you and him are still sharing a special bond together even though you are not here physically.  Through Jacob, I remember your smile and the twinkle in your eyes.  It makes me miss you even more some days.  Please keep a close watch over your big brother.  I hope you like the snow angel that he made for you at your special place today and I hope that you feel the kisses that he blows to you every night at bedtime.  Love you always baby girl ~ love, mommy.

January 9, 2008
Happy first Birthday sweet Hannah.  As much as I wish you were here to spend the day with us sweetie-pie, I know that you had the best birthday party in heaven.  I can just imagine the pink frosting all over those cute little cheeks of yours from eating your birthday cake.  I am hoping that you felt all of the extra love that was being sent to you today on your birthday.  So many family and friends love you and miss you so very, very much.  This was proven today at a special gathering we had just for you - to celebrate your precious little life.  Many who love you met us at your "special place'' to release pink balloons to you and light a pink candle in honor of you.  It was a very special and precious moment for your Daddy and I.  Having friends and family there to show their love for you helped ease some of the heartache that we were having for you today.  We miss you so, and would have done anything to have you here to share your special day with you.  I would go to the moon and back to have you in my arms again Hannah.  You are my precious little girl, who means the world to me.  I'm sending you many birthday kisses and hugs to you in heaven.  I hope to see that beautiful smile of yours tonight in my dreams.  Love you so very, very much ~ mommy.



Happy First Birthday Sweet Hannah!!!!!!

December 25, 2007
Christmas Day - Last night when I went to bed, I prayed and wished for only one Christmas wish Hannah.  My wish sweetie, was to wake up and have this terrible nightmare over.  I was hoping that when I opened my eyes, you would be here with us, right where you belong.  I could just picture how much fun you and your brother would have opening presents together this morning.  But, unfortunately, my wish never came true.  This nightmare of living without you continues.  So without you here my sweet daughter, I am giving you the only present that I can on this Christmas Day - my ever-lasting love.  I love you always ~mommy.

This is a Box of Blessings
Given with love to my Daughter to say
I am missing you so very much
As I remember you on Christmas Day.

Although I cannot see you
And we seem so far apart
You are never far from my thoughts
As I will always hold you in my heart.

You never will unwrap this box
But as you look down from above
You'll know it's a very special gift
Because it's filled with my eternal love.



December 4, 2007
They say that a mother-child bond is one of the strongest bonds there is.  I never appreciated this as much as I do now.  Sweet Hannah, please know that as each month goes by, this bond I have for you is as strong as ever.  I am so very scared that now that you are not here physically and what seems like a million miles away, you will not realize how much mommy loves you or somehow will forget.  I don't find it fair that I get to give your big brother hugs and kisses everyday to remind him how much I love him and I can't do the same with you.  I so hope and pray that you hear my "I loves you's" that I send to you at least a 100 times a day.  I am so afraid that that is sometimes not enough.  Please don't forget how much I love you and how I can't wait to see you again to share those hugs and kisses.  Love, mommy.

Snowflakes are kisses sent from Angels 

  
November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving Day.  When I think of this day and the upcoming holidays, I think of family.  Things are very different now.  To me, they are just a huge reminder that you are not here Hannah and our family is not complete.  I have to admit, I don't feel that it is fair.  My heart aches so bad for you today - more than normal, and I didn't even think that was possible.  I wish you were here so very much.  I am thankful though, that I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Hannah.  I am thankful that this little girl was in our lives for almost three months.  Even for the short time that you were here, you made the world a better place just by being in it.  You are such a bright little light.  Thank you Hannah for that.  Holding you close to my heart always ~ love mommy.

November 4, 2007
Hannah, you are a little miracle.  I knew this the moment that you were born and had entered into our lives.  In the short time that you were here with us, you touched many hearts and changed many lives, including mine.  I know of many people who look at life in a whole new way because of you little girl.  Not only are you a little miracle Hannah, I believe that you are a little miracle-worker.  From heaven, I believe that you have sent us the miracle of life.  I find it amazing that me and your daddy are going to be parents again.  I feel in my heart that this is a little gift from you.  Thank you Hannah for giving us a little hope for the future - hope for a future that looked bleak and unsure since you left.  Please remember little Hannah that this new gift of life is not a replacement of you.  There is no one that could ever replace you.  Nor, has mommy "moved on" or has "gotten over you" as many may think.  In my heart, I don't ever see that possible.  You are a part of me Hannah - a part of me that has been taken from me far too quickly and too soon.  The pain in my heart and the longing to hold you is no less than it was seven months ago.  And although life is still difficult not having you here, I try to get through each day knowing that I will get to hold you and see that sweet face of yours again someday.  Please remember Hannah, I will always, ALWAYS hold a special place for you in my heart - that will never change.  Loving you and missing you every minute of the day ~ mommy. 

October 4, 2007
Hi Hannah~ I hope that you have been having fun up in heaven these past six months.  Although I miss you every minute, of every day since you went to heaven, I try to picture your smiling face amongst the clouds in the best "daycare" ever.  That's what keeps me going some days.  This is a special month for you and many other angel babies ~ it is SIDS Awareness Month.  In honor of you sweet girl, I am doing what I can to help spread SIDS awareness.  My goal is to go to all of the local daycares and hand out a pamphlet on reducing the risk of SIDS and an infant CPR reference card.  I want to do what I can to help prevent this from happening to another family.  Today, your angel day, was significant for to me to start this goal in honor of you.  As a I went to daycare to daycare, and told your story, I was overwhelmed with the response and support that I received.  They were all very appreciative.  It hasn't been easy telling your story sweet baby, mommy has tried her best to hold back the tears.  So, I am asking you sweetie, please stay by mommy's side as I continue to complete this goal for you.  I love you bunches sweet Hannah.  Love always, mommy.


September 4, 2007
Hi sweetie~ another angel day. As each month passes without you, I come more and more to the realization of how precious life is and how it should not be taken for granted.  That is what you have taught me little girl.  All the moments that I shared with you - all the smiles, all the cooing, and all the kisses - I wish I would have taken in all of these moments just a little bit more.  You don't realize it until it is taken from you.  Listening to a friend today talk about how her daughter got engaged this past week, all I could think about was missing out on seeing you get married Hannah.  I will never get to share those special mother/daughter moments with you, like seeing you for the first time in a wedding dress, or holding that first child of yours.  I hope my friend realizes all that she has and doesn't take these moments with her daughter for granted.  Keep sending your love down to us little girl.  Mommy could use some extra kisses in the wind from you. Love you lots Hannah.  Hugs & kisses to you, mommy.  

August  24, 2007
Hi Sweetheart~  I took your brother to his first day of preschool today.  I am sure you were smiling down at him with pride.  Mommy wishes so bad that you could have been here for his first day of school and to give him a kiss good-bye in his classroom.  Leaving the school, I come to realize that I would never get to take you to your first day of school - one of the many things that I will miss out doing with you.  It breaks my heart Hannah to think of that.  Keep looking over your brother as he grows up so fast.  I know that he has the sweetest angel watching over him.  Love you always and missing you every minute of the day, mommy.

August 13, 2007
Hi baby girl~ I find it amazing how your little life left such a huge impact on me.  I seem so lost and so empty at times since you left us Hannah.  It's been difficult starting over and living each day without you here.  To try to get back into life, me, your Daddy and Jacob went on a trip this past weekend.  What was suppose to be a family vacation just wasn't the same without the whole family there - we were missing you.  On this "vacation" we thought of you often Hannah - even Jacob.  He mentioned you many times.  He misses you so much too.  While walking by a children's clothing section, Jacob came across a cute little sleeper with flowers and butterflies on it (in pink of course).  He said that he wanted to buy it for you so that he could give it to you.  I reminded him of how you were in heaven, and he was quick to say "lets give it to her when she comes back down".  I wish so much you could come back down from heaven; so much it hurts.  But, I know that heaven is your new home now.  It is a home that me, Daddy and Jacob will see you at again someday.  I can't wait til that day comes.  Until then, don't forget I love you and miss you Hannah.  Keeping you close to my heart sweetie - love, mommy.

August 4, 2007
Hi sweet Hannah~ A day doesn't go by that I don't think about you a million times over.  Mommy misses you so very much - that will never change.  When I look back to the days of these past months, I thank my lucky stars for all of the people that have been here for me, your Daddy and brother Jacob.  Old friends who I have gotten closer to, family who I love even deeper, and new friends who have entered my life because of you sweet girl.  I want to thank you Hannah for sending these amazing people to me to help me get through the tough days.  Without them, I don't know where I would be.  I can't express enough how thankful I am for all of the hugs, caring words, and encouragement that I have received from friends and family.  People have been so kind and so thoughtful, even to this day, to go out of their way to stop by, call or send notes to us to let us know that they are thinking of us.  It warms my heart to know how many good people there are in this world - people who truly care.  Hannah, please keep a watchful eye on these angels here on earth.  I hold them all close to my heart, just as I do with you.  Remember always sweet girl, I think that you are an amazing daughter and I will always love you with all of my heart.  Hugs & kisses, luv~ mommy.

July 23, 2007
Hi sweetie~ a good friend told me after you passed that I really needed to focus on my surroundings and look for signs that you are all around. What I have come to notice sweet Hannah is that you have sent me many butterflies these past months. Beautiful orange and black butterflies have entered my life at times when I have needed it most – times when I am missing you. Just as quickly as they appear, they soon float away - just as you did in my life Hannah. I truly believe these butterflies that have visited me are you. Times when I was sitting outside at night thinking of you, and a butterfly floated by to say hello – I believe that was you. When Jacob and I were blowing bubbles to you and a butterfly floated around Jacob – I believe that was you. While walking Bogey at night and a butterfly touched his nose – I believe that was you. When I was planting your pink rose bush and a butterfly landed on my right hand – I believe that was you. Tonight, while visiting you at your grave site, when the tears fell more than normal, a butterfly fluttered in front of me – I believe that was you. I have come to realize that you are here Hannah, more than ever. I truly believe that. Thank you for coming to me and letting me know that you are content and happy. Tonight I go to bed saying two prayers. I first pray that you keep coming to me Hannah to remind me that you are all around me and are watching over me. My second prayer is for all of the mommies who have gone through the devastation of losing a baby. I pray for them to keep believing – believing that their little angels are always there beside them and are always keeping a close watch over them. Thank you again sweet Hannah. I love you and miss always, love mommy.


July 22, 2007
Hi sweet Hannah~ I am sitting here reflecting over the weekend and have realized the steps that I have taken.  One major step this weekend, was moving your sweet little crib from your Daddy's and my room to your brother's room which you would have shared with him.  I knew it was something that I needed to do, but have put off knowing how hard it would be.  Waking up each morning to an empty crib is one of the most difficult things to do.  I wish I'd be waking up to your sweet little face each morning Hannah.  But, since I can't, I know in my heart you wouldn't want mommy & daddy to feel sad every morning and would want us to put your crib in a different room.  Not away yet, but in a place where I don't have to be reminded each night and every morning that it is empty and that you are not here.  As I took the crib apart, just to put it back together in the room across the hall, I kept talking to you and reminding you sweet Hannah that I am not trying to remove you from my life, not by far. I am trying to find some strength and peace within.  What I desperately desire is to feel the warmth and happiness inside of me when I think about you....not just sadness.  One of the most difficult parts about moving your crib Hannah was seeing it across the room from Jacob's bed.  You two would have had so much fun sharing a room, sharing special moments.

Another milestone for me this weekend was meeting angel Jace's mommy Angie in person.  It is something that I have longed to do since the first day that she called our home - the day after your funeral Hannah.  I know in my heart that Angie was sent to me by you and sweet Jace.  She has been such an inspiration and light in my life when I needed it most.  It breaks my heart though, to know the pain that she is going through and the tough road that she has ahead of her.  I wish no mommy, especially Angie,  would have to endure something like losing their precious child.  I am so hoping though, that we will continue to lean on each other and find strength in knowing that we are not alone - we have each other.  I also hope that our two broken hearts will someday be a little less broken and the pain will be a little less intense as we continue this difficult journey together without our little angels here.  Thank you Hannah and baby Jace for bringing Angie to me.  She is truly a blessing from above. Thinking of you always Hannah, luv ~ mommy.

    July 9, 2007
Happy six month birthday sweet baby girl.  Even before you were born I would say to your Daddy how I couldn't wait until you were six months old.  I remember all the fun things that I did with your brother at that age, and I couldn't wait to do the same fun things with you.  But, those plans with you are lost and no longer possible.  I find it amazing how my plans, my future, my life, changed the instant that you were ripped away from us Hannah.  My life has not been, or ever will be, the same since "that day".  It is almost like starting a new life completely over; a new life that I am not sure I am ready for or even want.  I am though, trying my hardest baby girl to keep living - living a full life for your Daddy and brother Jacob.  Moving forward though is difficult with the constant reminders that you are not here seem to follow me everywhere I go. Yesterday at church we sat next to a baby girl that looked so much like you sweet Hannah. From the soft brown hair to the big beautiful eyes, all I thought about was you and missing you.  Keep smiling down to us to help us during this everlasting difficult journey without you.  We love you and miss you always! ~ Luv, Mommy

July 4, 2007
Hi there sweet girl. I can't believe that it has been 3 months ago today that you got your little angel wings. Time has been going so slow without you, that it seems like an eternity ago that you were last with us. You have now been gone to heaven the same length of time that I got to hold you in my arms sweetie. That is something very difficult for mommy to accept. I miss you so much Hannah that I am still having trouble some days coming to the realization that you are gone. In my mind sometimes, I believe that you are just at Grandma's and that you will be coming home soon. But, unfortunately, Grandma has not shown up on our doorstep with you in her arms. Please know Hannah, that I think of you often and that I will never forget you, nor will your Daddy and Jacob. You left quite an impression on all those who met you Hannah. There are many that hold you close to their hearts, as so do I. We will be thinking of you tonight Hannah as we look up to the stars to watch the fireworks. I know it will be quite the show for you. I wish so very much that you would be watching your first fireworks show with us Hannah. I do know that you will be with us in spirit though. I was so looking forward to putting you in your cute little red, white & blue stars dress that I bought for you months ago. You would have looked absolutely adorable in it along with the little matching sunhat. Instead though, I took your sweet little dress out to your grave site along with some flowers. I kept your little stars hat close to me today in hopes that it would somehow help ease some of the pain that I'm feeling today. Please smile down on us tonight little girl as we will all be looking up to you and wishing you were here. Hugs & kisses to you sweetie. Love you always & forever, mommy. 

June 16, 2007
Today was our annual Ekeren family reunion.  It was a day that I wanted you here Hannah so very much.  I was so looking forward to sharing our beautiful little girl with all of our extended aunts, uncles and cousins.  But, instead I only got to share memories and photos of you.  In honor of you Hannah, your immediate aunts, uncles, cousins, and your grandpa and grandma let pink balloons to you up in the sky.  I hope you were smiling down at us as tears were shed for you Hannah.  You were in my thoughts constantly today little girl, and although not everyone got to meet you, they think the world of you, as so do I.  Love always, mommy.
  

June 9, 2007
Today you would be five months old little girl.  You'd be approaching such a fun stage in your life.  A time when you would be exploring so much around you and gaining such a wonderful little personality.  I still can't believe that you are gone.  I often close my eyes just to see your bright little face again which I miss so dearly.  I can't wait to see that sweet face again....someday.  I hope that you like the pink balloons that your Daddy, Jacob and I sent to you today.  Have fun playing with all of your angel friends.  Love you always ~ Mommy
 
June 4, 2007
Hi there sweet girl, today you have been up in heaven for two months.  To me, it seems like you have been gone an eternity.  It seems like forever ago that I've seen your beautiful face, gazed at that sweet smile, and last held you in my arms. I would do anything to see you one more time Hannah.  I miss you so very, very much.  The pain in my heart is so intense and so deep for you.  Having you gone is like a part of me is gone.  People tell me that it will get easier each day.  I'm not finding any truth to that so far.  The ache to have you here is just as strong as it was the day that you left us.  You are never far from mommy's thoughts Hannah.  I think of all the things that you might be doing now.  Would you be rolling over?  I remember watching you turn to your left side to try to get a good look at your brother.  You loved watching Jacob and his silly ways.  What color would your eyes be by now sweetie?  They were a dark blue when you left us.  Would they be brown like your mommy's and brother Jacob's?  It hurts me knowing that I will never get to find out.  Please continue to look over mommy from the clouds up above.  Send me some extra kisses in the wind.  I love and miss you always Hannah.   See you in my dreams.  XOXOXOXO
Love, mommy 

May 29, 2007
My sweet little Hannah, not only do me and your Daddy miss you with all of our hearts, but so does your big brother Jacob. He mentions you all the time. Just on Sunday while jumping on uncle Les's trampoline, he said "look at me mom - I'm jumping really high; I'm going to jump to the clouds to see baby Hannah". He said that he missed you and wanted to "give you a hug and kiss up in the clouds". His little legs couldn't get him high enough though Hannah. So, for now, he is blowing kisses up to you in the sky. Another time that he made reference to you Hannah was while he was playing - he said to me, "Hannah wants me to come up to the sky and play mommy". It just breaks my heart Hannah that you two won't be able to play together here on earth. You both will have to save your play dates for heaven. I hope you like the bubbles that we blew up to you this past weekend. We think of you always Hannah and miss you dearly. Hugs & kisses ~ luv mommy.

May 20, 2007
My sweet baby girl, I went to your cousin Sarah's dance recital tonight. With every little girl that danced, every song that was played, every moment of the night, I thought of you. I had such hopes and dreams for you Hannah. I had hoped to see you dance someday on that same stage as your cousin. All of those hopes and dreams have been crushed though. I can only hope now, is that I will see you dance someday amongst the clouds. I am so looking forward to it. Keep dancing a beautiful dance Hannah. Hugs and kisses always, love mommy. 

May 13, 2007
Mother's Day ~ today is suppose to be a special, happy day for Mom's all around. I can't help though, to be very sad today while thinking of you my little girl. My cherished memories of you are sometimes not enough to cover the pain and the longing to hold you again. I miss you so much Hannah. Please don't ever forget your mommy. I know that I will never forget you, my little sweetie-pie. You are on my thoughts constantly. Today at church they played "You Are Mine", a song played at your funeral. I tried to keep the tears back, but it was too much for me to hold in. The ache I feel for you is strong and so deep. I know that this will never go away. So today, my little girl, say an extra payer for your mommy. A prayer for your mommy to stay strong and to never give up hope. I love you Hannah. With hugs & kisses, mommy.

A poem a good friend gave to me in remembrance of you:

Letter to Mom
Mom, please don't feel guilty
It was just my time to go.
I see you are still feeling sad,
And the tears just seem to flow.

We all come to earth for our lifetime,
And for some it's not many years.
I don't want you to keep crying
You are shedding so many tears.

I haven't really left you
Even though it may seem so.
I have just gone to my heavenly home,
And I'm closer to you than you know.

Just believe that when you say my name
I'm standing next to you,
I know you long to see me,
But there's nothing I can do.

I'll still send you messages
And hope you understand,
That when your time comes to "cross-over"
I'll be there to take your hand. 
~Author Unknown

For all the babies who fell asleep on earth 
and woke up in Heaven.

Please light a candle for our little Hannah. It means so much to us to keep her memory alive.